Wednesday, 28 October 2009

BET AwarDS .....09 CIPherS!!!!

So da BET awards was last night... probably gonna come on U.K t.v 2night or 2moro...I don't really care, but what I do care about is that the only reason I'l watch it is for the 2009 Ciphers!! If you watched last years ciphers you'l remember how Q-TIP, K'naan and JadaKiss ripped up dat shit!!

I was abit dissapointed with my nicca Wale's freestyle in this years cipher #2 but da ol-G KRS-one showed them how its done blud! Nikki Minaj  was sick along with Black Thought an Joe Budden! Eminem is my nicca aswel...
Ave'a look bellow ..who are your favs. dis year..?

This is probably gonna be on every Blog across da world 2day but who gives'a flying monkey ay..?

CIPHER 1 - Joe Budden, Nikki Minaj, Buckshots & Crown Royal

CIPHER 2 - Wale, Nipsey Hu$$le, Gsan & KRS-one

CIPHER 3 - Mos def, Black Thought & Eminem

BET award + 09 Ciphers = Who gives'a fack about Awards... jus show me some freestyels shon!!


Tuesday, 27 October 2009

…"I've been goin hard too much recently, so I took a weekend off to hav a wank and play pro.."

So the lads and I took a well deserved weekend off da booze and partyin'…"I've been goin hard too much recently, so I took a weekend off to hav a wank and play pro.." was my quote when asked where I was. However as we all know there’s no rest for the wicked so please believe all ma Cocaine’t Cowboys will be PON DIS TINGGGG BLAAAAADDD!!!

The only difference this time is that I’m gonna give the festivities a go without the help of a can of K or RED STRIPE, or at least give it a damned good try. I think its time I actually started remembering my nights and also remembering to get the fit birds number I spoke to when sober.
The fun kicks off with a mid week fixture that is sure to blow your mind, HARDKNOCK is back with a BANGER this time it’s the top London Blogs goin’ Head to Head in an original styleee old skool soundclash…MY MONEYS on BNTL

And Friday night is the event that every self respecting motherfucker has been looking forward too. Abso-fucking-lutely guaranteed to be a banger…I know what your thinkin’

So make sure you get your assess down to these places in a timely fashion ‘cause anyone who tried to hit the last Work It, Livin’ Proof collabo will kno wat’a’gwan when I say ROADBLOCK!!!. Friday night will be a halloween party where you know the music is guaranteed to be banging with DJ's from both sets goin' back to back, dis is the kinda event where you don't wait for your mates. STR8 UP SHUN!!!


Nuff Said!!!


WinTeR IS herE!!...bUt I ReMiniSce.....

IT's COLD!!... da clocks have now gone backwards with the consequence of it getting darker much earlier. ;-(.. not fun at all now that summer has officially retired for another six months...
Well I had a fun filled, poontang infested summer... also went to CUBA which I must say was 'frickin awesome dude'...

Ok its time to reminisce.. this is a taster of what I got up to out there...

Cheesy poses infront of da hotel...


Beach parties....

Cigar smoking....

Cave diving....

.....And Poon.

Also made couple videos which re-ignited my acting career.. sum of ulot probably seen it b4 but who cares 'gimme a break' Im reminiscing...

Blauwatch cuba... Baywatch parody

Im On A Boat!!

Summer 09 + Sun, sea & sand + Alcohol adventure in london = I bloody hope Winter is as good!!


Wednesday, 21 October 2009

WorLds MoSt DistUrbin SExtoYS.....

A Female friend of mine just recently got her 1st dildo (rampant rabbit to be precise)... she also got one of them clit 'bullet' thingys..which is meant to be a girls best friend... anyways..shes loving it she says.. her quotes exactly was "all I need it to do now is take me out and buy me drinks..then we can execute all the men is this world". Hmmm a little over the top but hey.. she's having fun...
And as you do..I researched into that shit and found some crazy-ass mind-boggling you can imagine even with my slightly socially unaccepted mind... I was thinking what da rass/boomber-ole is this??
Well take'a look boys an girls..

Sexy Sadistic Cock Ring

If you want to be pissing out of 20 different holes then i think this medevil tourture equipment is right up your alley...
Website quote: "Imagine the look on hes face when he wants to reach full arousal but realizes he cant.."

Fearsom Fingers

Ok I'm not entirely sure what da rass these things are, but from the name I'm guessing you put these bad boys on your fingers... looks abit brutal to me mate
Website quote: "Wear all five, or just one will get you the respect you deserve..."

Disposable Canned Vergina

Lol this has to be the funniest/fucked up of them all. The Japanese are a crazy bunch aren't they...
website quote: "complete with lubricant, this disposable pussy would leave you wanting more.."

Enema Piss Rubber Pants

Soon there would be no need for public toilets anymore... think... with this becoming a household product.
Website quote: "The Enema bag can hold 4litres.."

Stict Leather Dildo Face Harness

I hope its only lesbians that use this shit...coz that cud be quite hot...
Website quote: "This soft leather strap on makes it easy to strap a dildo to your face.."

The Drilldo

Ok very inventive name...its just a bloody dildo attached to a drill...
Website quote: "Yoga-like relaxing massage..."

The Cannon

Is this even possible..? or am I just being naive...?
Website quote: "The thickness and range of this plug, means you'l get a fulfilling stretch.."

Extreme Ass Spreader

Now this is just WRONG! looks like a cardiac surgeons tool..
Website quote: "Reactor opens up to 4inches wide"

Mastubator Vee-String

It's a bloody G-string with a minge on it!!.... If anyone is struggling with Halloween costumes this will defo win you 1st prize...
Website quote: "Thers are 9 different hair colours and 5 different hair styles to choose from..."

I hope you all have been as mentally scarred as I have been whilst looking at these new products....


WHERE WERE YOU?...on 24/10/09

Ain't got much to say, my mind has hit somewhat of a mental block recently...I am however, here to point you in the direction of where you a**holes should be saturday night coming

When myself, offthewALL, BBHollogramz and the lovely ladies embarked on the PECKNARRRRM Warehouse Party journey, I stumbled into a room which had a hole on the floor so I peeeed, I peeed like one had never peeeed before...while doing so i fixed my eyes upon this...

*check the flyer, this is definetly one for the collection

Now if your like me and you like your parties wild...I'm talking swingin off the chandelier wild, midgets doing back flips wild, then this is where all y'all mofos should be


On a total unrelated note, also check out the Nu Brand Flexxx - Emergency, this video is sooo mint, all you halitosis sufferers shud feast on it n eradicate that rotten stench which eminates from your wretched orifice you call a mouth...y'all know who you are!!!


Inebriation Inna Di Nation!!!

Nuff Said!!!


Tuesday, 20 October 2009


Today Apple did what many saw coming for a few months now, and that was update the iMac lines.  However they also updated the original white Macbook, and I must say I'm feelin it like I was feelin' Amber Rose a few days back. They gave it curves like a rounded bitch, back AND front. Mi likey!

Anyways more technically it has a faster processor, bigger harddrive and faster ram than the previous model Macbook. Bigger price too. £799. Have a look here.

The iMac has also had a revision, bigger screens 'n that init. Faster processors 'n the rest. Can't be bothered to go into detail. Start @ £949. Check 'em out here.

Jonboy (LDN)

Female/PoontanG LoVE Abit Of Dat Evil Juice!!.....

Da last couple of weekends have been jammed packed full of alcohol fueld naughty behaviour for da Cocaine't4kidz ladz... especially this weekend where I got blaggered 4days outa 3... yes 4/3 days.. I extend my weekend to Monday night...
Da most recent being joeydakid getting ultra FUCKED at BB's little shindig.. My GawD.. it was an Orrible (with a capital O) site i tell ya.. He was literally throwing up he's internals... like he had drank a whole bottle of IPECAK! (click here if you r not sure what ipecak is).......He filled up dat bowel 5times with hes breakfast, lunch an dinner.

"don't judge meee!!"

joeys special puke-punch...

"somebody take me home!"
I was on this site not to long ago which is dedicated to females getting Smashed! What more can you asked for other than 'drunken Pooon'....that would not remember how many times you groped her tits an assseseses.. (I am not that guy by da way..)

Eres a couple pics that stimulated da amusement Side of my brainage...

Now...she defo had a good night..

comming out of both ends..

pockadot thong!?!?!?

she's doing da splits brav! lol

What goes in must come out I suppose..

Head down thumbs up...?

I know that delighted you for da good 1.min an 33secs-ish
Me thinks..this weekend I might take it alittle easy on da booze.... before i ends up on that show 'booze britain'......or mybe not..

Jack Daniels + Southern comfort + 2 'K' Ciders + vodka + all in one cup = joey nearly waking up inna hospital for alcohol abuse...


Monday, 19 October 2009


Ok... So I'm cheating a bit this week, as this isn't the full Mixtape download, however it's a preview of one of the sickest Mixtapes I've heard this year. The Artist ENEEKS, is another colleague of mine, AND YES, this is the third one, but I told you, I'm surrounded by amazing talent.  The real hip-hop lovers, I'm sure will be feeling this.

I don't endorse shit I don't like. And I'm Soulja Boy Tell'in ya this is more than worth a listen.

Click the image to download.

The full mixtape is available for purchase on iTunes!

Check out his Myspace!.

A video he made for one of his freestyles, shot on Westminster Bridge.

Anyways I'm out... manzzz gotta go worrrk innnnit!

Jonboy (LDN)

Friday, 16 October 2009

"Let Me teLL You A StoRY AbouT..........."

The other day I was browsing youtube looking at some 'booty shake' vidz (Dnt Judge Me) on youtube...and as you kno.. by repeatedly clicking on 'related videos' you end up looking at something totally different half an hour later.
So I end up at H-old Skool Hiphop tracks...and got me thinking what happened to 'storytelling' rap tunes ay?Tunes with simple beats like ''boom cack....boom boom cack'' (that me beat boxin by da way...) and some1 telling a nusery ryhming story over it....SICK!!
Eres a couple example of what im on bout... make sure you watch em...

Slick Rick - Children's Story

Roxanne Shante' - Roxanne's Revenge

GrandMasterFlash - The Message

story telling + Mc'n + simple beats = CAMM OOORRRRN....bring it back now...!


Wednesday, 14 October 2009

It's ME GUYS... its me!

If you watch as many Youtube videos as I do, then you must have come across this guy. Mr Timothy De La Ghetto... Youtoob PHENOMENON! I swear he has over like Fifty Million hits!  Anyways one of his many video entries is suttin called Dear De La Ghetto, where people email him with very random questions... let me give you some examples...

Dear De La Ghetto... My best friends sister is SO banging, I really wanna f*ck her and get her to give me head? How do I position this to him? Oh and I forgot to mention, I'm female!

Dear De La Ghetto... My girlfirend caught me bashin' to some... pornos... Alll dat azzz Feat. Cherokee to be precise... and we are Asian, how could I explain these actions to her? 

Dear De La Ghetto... I'm about to get my brians mushed by my next door neighbour for the first time... what do you think he would like best... doggy or 69?

Dear De La Ghetto... I just had sex... literally 5 minutes ago... Ma Dick is still ROCK SOLID... What should I do?

Ummm... Im sure you get the picture...

Anyways here's his latest video.  At least 80% of people reading this blog can relate to the second question. No doubt!

Episode #33 Fuck buddies and shaved Vagina's.

Dear De La Ghetto... 
Skip to 3mins:02 Seconds...
*If your computer cannot handle HD content click the "HD" button on the video

Now I'm pretty sure 8/10 guys can use these bars to full effect! Just don't stutter as you recite them.

Timothy De La Ghetto + Stoopid ass... muhf*ckin' questions = Dear De La Ghetto... How do I get this thick azzz booty on my d*ck? I'm retarded by the way!

Jonboy (LDN)

Tuesday, 13 October 2009


Oozing Sexuality like bullets …emitting inescapable sexual discharge, emotional dispositions replaced with ejaculating love of emergence and precise target… That’s my personal BBhollogramz definition of being free with in sexuality(yes yeess I actually made that up myself.)…the following females get it SPOT on and they would ALL GET IT!!lol. This one is for THE LADIES!!

Christmas came early boys!!!


B B H O L L O G R A M Z.

MILF FOR JOEYDAKID = The Timeless, I Pay Homage to, Monica Bellucci

PENGTING FOR JONBOY LDN = The Empress of Unfortunate Beauty THE FOX

HENTAI FOR TOBI OFFTHAWALL = Esmerelda from Hunch Back

LEEEEENGTING LENIOR FOR IZE = The ever Gorgeous Neomie Lenior

WILD CARD FOR ALL OF US! =The Rookie With No Future

Monday, 12 October 2009

TellY Overload IncreAses I.Q.....

So yesterday.... (after a messy Saturday night which consisted of alcohol intoxication and weed inhalation)... I managed to sit at home in front of da telly and do fuck all apart from getting up to go get some saveloy and chips from my local chippy which is h-actually owned by Chinese people...

So as I'm watching this fing called da 'telly'.... I started pondering how much bullshit is actually on ere..... then BAMMM! hit me...... I realised that this box makes up 70% of my general knowledge and 'chirpsin' conversations..... such as.... 'did you kno...?.'
If YOU pick what you watch carefully... You can learn some ridiculous life/street lessons from this shit

As most people who kno me know this is one of my favourite channels....

DID YOU KNO.... that if your squint at a male will see u as a mating partner and try to shag your brains out...
DID YOU KNO.... that some animals have accents... A 'moo' of a Cow depends on which reagion its from..... so I imagine a cow from brooklyn sounding like this.. 'MOOO.. MUVAFUCKER... MOOOO'
DID YOU KNO.... that bats can only turn left when exiting a cave! .....I guess they are not ambi-turners...
DID YOU KNO.... that some birds can stay in the air for up to five years!!!
DID YOU KNO.... that an elephant can smell water from up to 3miles away!!....what da fuck does water smell like..?

National geo channel + trying to chat up a female + random facts = she's thinking "shits this guy is a wierdo.. but I like it.. so im gonna fuck hes brains out"


Art Video: Guy Ritchie

Take it to the Next Level... DIRECTORS CUT!
Directed by Guy Ritchie. One of the best football ads ever. He summed up in 3mins 7 seconds the lifestyle I and every other self respecting lad, would have loved to have. Fame, fortune and Poooon! To bad I ended up here... in bed Blogging about some other F*ckers fame, fortune and and rassclart Poon. Such is life.

Guy Ricthie + Nike + Football = The English Dream.

Jonboy (LDN)

Saturday, 10 October 2009


LETS BACK…WAAAAAY BACK…BACK INTO TIME (Fading out in the background “Naw naw naw baby naw baayyy-baaaaay.”) ^_^

Terminator 2 scared the shit out of me I swear for like 5 Years after my first time watching it did I then pluck up the courage to tell my self inflicted Bitch-ass-ness to FUCK OFF and thus releasing me to watch it.
Now one thing about this film is that this movie had some sick fire arms and the more I watch it as I get older, the more in some fucked up twisted way, all these sexy ass guns look incredibly appealing in a profusely odious sexual manner, could this be the verge of a new fetish… GUN-DOM? LMFAO SUPER DUPER SIDE EYE!!!!!

M134 minigun aka BRUTAL DILDO no. 1

Winchester model 1887 Shot-gun = BRUTAL DILDO no.2

M79 grenade launcher = BRUTAL DILDO no.3

MM1 grenade launcher = The Mother of ALL sexual devices “The Sybian Saddle Fucking Machine.”



Thursday, 8 October 2009

"It's Shamz Le Le Le Le Le Le R..O...C"

Hol’ tite all ma people who know about the Shamz Le Roc movement, If you’ve heard any of her tunes then u’ll be aware that great things come in small packages, kinda like Prince or dat cheerleader bird from Heroes, not saying shes talented or nuffin but she’s a great lil’ package (ummm umm yeah, take dat, take dat!!!)…I digress…

She’s performed on regular popular circuits in NYC causing havoc and receiving great feedback on both her music and distinguished graphic designs on her tees.Her latest track DROP IT LOW has created a lil’ buzz n has been stuck in my mind for a hott minute…

listen to the track here...

and the remix Feat. USA New Talent, Ev4n Holt here...


Drop It Low + couple hott Mami Chulas + Bangin Sound System = BITCHIN PARTY!!!


Wednesday, 7 October 2009

"Wash...My Panty-Hose??????"


I love the South Western American attitudes on Spring Break and the utterance of that very annual holiday period makes me think of this face.

Check the Photography by Pieter Hugo

This is just a little post to keep your creative motors running strong like The Aioi Works Japanese Wartsila-Sulzer RTA96-C turbocharged two-stroke diesel engine


Its so creepy though riiight???…Just like switching to Nollywood Channel on SKY and anticipating the mounds of SHIT SCARY JU-JU awaiting to take place. This work is phenomenal and Nigeria as a back-drop gives this shoot major Brownie Points.