Tuesday, 19 January 2010

The First ACTION HEROES

So any old Tom, Dick and Arry can be an action hero in this day'n age... all you need is a blue screen, and photoshop and 'bobs you uncle!'...you r officially da next Arny.
BUT back in the day when internet was a myth and having a nike tick at the back of your head got you ratings.... there were REAL action heroes...

These action heroes were the shittiest actors ever! but at the same time the coolest mofo's on this planet!


CHUCK NORRIS

"when Chuck Norris speaks, every body listens. And dies"



DOLPH LUNDGREN aka Ivan Drago

"If he dies... He dies"



STEVEN SEAGAL

"The quickest way to a man's heart is Steven Seagal's fists"



Fuck Arni, Silvester and even Jean-Claud!.. these 3 guys above were the coolest action heroes eva! shame they only did shit films...

offthewALL

Sunday, 17 January 2010

Best JoB In The WORLD!

This fat cunt of a yoga instructure is getting paid to touch Poonani without even being labled as a porn star or an escort!




To restore the 'good' and 'bad' balance of life....I know a midget got punched in the face just for being a midget at the same time this photo was taken

offthewALL

Thursday, 14 January 2010

Bring Back SEGA CONSOLES!

So advertisements are there to catch our attention and make us think.. "fuck me, that is an outstanding product, I must go and purchase instantly!"...........this rarely happens....

BuT thesE SEGA ads from the 90's would make me purchase Sega Master System, Sega Megadrive, Sega Saturn and Sega Dreamcast ALL AT THE SAME TIME!










They are from the ever so popular adult comic book called 'Viz'... check it our sometime.

offthewALL

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Tinie Tempah - 2010....Lets give him the best start possible!!

I been gone 4 a hot 1.....a veeeery hot 1.......... But BOYAKKASHAAA.... I'mmmm back mudasuckasss'........Im back.

NOW BOW DOWN AND KISS THE RING!!!

Anyway,

At a time when the UK Urban scene is starting to BOOM with the likes of Tinchy Stryder, Chipmunk, Ndubz, Dizzee Rascal etc etc... In comes a new addition to the bunch....TINIE TEMPAH.


If you havnt heard of him, hes an MC/Rapper just like those mentioned above who built his name and came up through the GRIME genre. Hes been around for a loooong time, and towards the end of 2009, he got his just desserts and signed a record deal with Major label PARLOPHONE / EMI. Don't know who the heck they are??.....Then just know its the same label that has Lilly Allen, Coldplay, Eliza Dolittle, Gorillaz, Kylie Minogue...the list is endless......oh yea...and was home to THE BEATLES!! Wicked huh??!

But yea, hes tipped to have a smashing year by many industry insiders soooooooooo, lets help give him the best start Possible! Check out his new single which I fink is WICKED!!



U LIKE??

His names been going around sooo much that hes been nominated for 'MTV'S 10 For 10'!! I've voted, why don't you! Help him bring it home for GOOD UK MUSIC!! Check out the link below!!........and its FREE OF CHARGE......ZILCH......£0.00.......THAT MEANS YOU PAY NOTHING!! LOOL

http://www.mtv.co.uk/music/10-for-10-tinie-tempah


And heres something ADIDAS did about him. Its something they do with people who they think are going to do well the following year. Its called 'ABOUT TO BLOW'



Signing Out 4 NoW........

iZE......

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

IN MI RASSCLART BACKYARD!!!

Now there's "Warehouse Parties" and there are Parties in a Warehouse...
"What da fuck r u on about?" you ask,
“I don’t have a clue”...I respond but all I know is that Friday 22nd of January, there will be only one place to be.


The January Sale…Warehouse party



Now if you like your partying carefree, stressfree and practically free entry then this is the place to be right in the heart of South East London, the Bussey Building in Peckham Rye will play host to yet another contender for party of the year.

So if you like OSG, Grime, Dubstep, Hard House and Jungle, your parties mad, with ladies dancing on window sills, people swinging on chandeliers and penguins dressed as army generals…then YES…this is the place to be.

Details are as follows:

TEMPA T (Slew Dem) +TIM&BARRY (Don't watch that TV) [Old school Garage/Grime set]

JAMES BLAKE (Hemlock)
INDIGO (Mindset//Z-audio)
LEGO (Bricks)LIXO (Get Me!)
MY PANDA SHALL FLY (Lucky Pdf)
DEADLY RHYTHM SOUND SYSTEM (Deadly Rhythm)

Hosted by Chunky.

A mere £5 entry, all night long!!!
Huge sound system + trippy visuals Celebrate the sales in style. Bricks.

STRICTLY 18+ // BRING I.D.

BUSSEY BUILDING, 133 Rye Lane, Peckham, SE15 4ST.Opposite Peckham Rye Overground Station.

JoeyDaKid

Sunday, 10 January 2010

Date a Convict!

Ladz:
We all want to be our own man and at the same time literally have a ride or die chick. Not worrying about da misses getting on your back about where you are, what kinda mates you hang around with or leaving the toilet seat up. Also want a woman that is has minimal freedom an rights... AND you know the tart wouldn't be cheating on you unless its with her hot lesbian cell mate...


If you can relate to any of the above then Conjugalharmony.com is the dating service for YOU!


"Once you create your own account, you can access over 4,000 life-sentance inmates"

Ere are some hotties:












Basicaly it does exactly what it says on da tin! hooks you up with some crazy b-harch locked up behind bars...
I'l be finding me a badass gangbangin blood craving bitch to fight all my battles.

offthewALL


Saturday, 9 January 2010

WTF?

If this guy is ill, im sorry, but WTF?



Jonboy

Wednesday, 6 January 2010

da WHITE stuff!

Its snowing.. you've got fuck all to do.. you are also an Artsy Fartsy muva-bloodclart (excuse my american/jamaican).
So what do you end up doing??...

The substance currently known as "Snow" can be manipulated to recreate such shapes in oder to produce humour for onlookers... with reference to the images below...
















Heavy snow + Stuck in your yard + Fucked up mind = "Fuck it! lets make a cock out of snow!!"

offthewALL

Tuesday, 5 January 2010

Tinie Tempah Pass Out

So while Ize is MIA, I thought I'd help him out on this one. I'm actually genuinely feelin' the tune though... beats "HARDDD" as some would say (not me, i speak real English). Videos ill aswell... check he's glasses @ 1:22... BADMAN!



Jonboy.

Blast from the Past

As I sit here listening to some classic tune-ages @ 04:49, I decide to share them with you.


Talib Kweli - The Blast


Nas - Nas Is Like


Kelis - Get Along With You

Jonboy.

Dynamotv11

This magician guy DYNAMO went to Glastonbury (I believe) and freaked out a few stars with some of his tricks... I wanna say it's fake 'cos i'm bludy negative like that... but i don't think it is judgin' on these guys reactions anyways.  Remember when David Blane used to scare them Yanks on channel 4 back in the day, well this seems to be the Brit version.




Jonboy.

Update: See what i'm sayin 'bout them Yanks... Check the first black guy in the video lmao! These Yanks.

Monday, 4 January 2010

Raekwon: new mixtape

So he's ever so fantastic album Only Built For Cuban Links was one of da best in 09...
well its ow-10 now eres da new mixtape called Coke Up In Da Dollar Bill..

Check it out darrrg....

Click HERE to download

offthewALL