Sunday, 29 August 2010


He had it all... the fans loved him, his enemies respected him enough not to bother with voodoo, an adoring wife!! mothers compared their children to him, fathers called him 'son'. Presidents called him for advice. There was even a rise in the number of kids called Bobby!!! But on Sunday 22nd August, the Worlds greatest hero fell to one of the most ugly illnesses ever created by the CIA, they feared he would blow the lid on fake intelligence that would allow corrupt governments to have Mind Control over their subjects and was thus purposely infected with the MUMP's virus!!!!!

Mumps, if u havent had it is the baddest, meanest, gnarliest virus a man can get. On the Sunday i looked like i got into a fight with a young, fit, Mike Tyson and he just wanted to punch the right side of my face, next to my jaw. I musta been Rocky and not known when enuff was enuff cos by Monday morning both sides of my face had been patted by those cruel gloves and the swelling was ugly!!

I have this theory, if a human being's vitals drop lower than 7%, they are probably headed for the upper room!! I can maybe laugh it off now but when i was on 8% vitality, unable to move, swollen face, unable to eat because of swollen saliva glands and jaw paralysis, i started to wonder if the upper room would be better for me.

As i felt sorry for myself wondering if the curse was ever gonna shift, another bombshell dropped that definately nearly took me to 7%, My baby making capsule started to ache, with one pod growing to almost twice the size of the other and the pain delievered to the body upon urinating can only be described as frightening, in fact no word of a lie I passed out the first time and almost the 2nd. The pain is the equivalent of having a mentally challenged gorilla trying to give you a handjob!! (not soo far fetched as some ppl still insist AIDs came about from man fuckin a monkey) The delirium that accompanies the pain saw me imagining John Coffey walking into my room and saying, 'Bobby, i'm here to helps take it away' touch my nuts and my jaw and spit flies out his mouth! However in clearer thought i'm not sure if i'd be comfy with a guy like that coming into my room when im defenceless, he may 'take away' more than i want took!!

I cant be assed to write anymore but u also lose erectile functions for the duration of the ordeal...ive had it, will never have it again...MMR dont save you for sure...good luck