BET AwarDS .....09 CIPherS!!!!

So da BET awards was last night... probably gonna come on U.K t.v 2night or 2moro...I don't really care, but what I do care about is that the only reason I'l watch it is for the 2009 Ciphers!! If you watched last years ciphers you'l remember how Q-TIP, K'naan and JadaKiss ripped up dat shit!!

I was abit dissapointed with my nicca Wale's freestyle in this years cipher #2 but da ol-G KRS-one showed them how its done blud! Nikki Minaj  was sick along with Black Thought an Joe Budden! Eminem is my nicca aswel...
Ave'a look bellow ..who are your favs. dis year..?

This is probably gonna be on every Blog across da world 2day but who gives'a flying monkey ay..?

CIPHER 1 - Joe Budden, Nikki Minaj, Buckshots & Crown Royal


CIPHER 2 - Wale, Nipsey Hu$$le, Gsan & KRS-one


CIPHER 3 - Mos def, Black Thought & Eminem


BET award + 09 Ciphers = Who gives'a fack about Awards... jus show me some freestyels shon!!

offthewALL

…"I've been goin hard too much recently, so I took a weekend off to hav a wank and play pro.."

So the lads and I took a well deserved weekend off da booze and partyin'…"I've been goin hard too much recently, so I took a weekend off to hav a wank and play pro.." was my quote when asked where I was. However as we all know there’s no rest for the wicked so please believe all ma Cocaine’t Cowboys will be PON DIS TINGGGG BLAAAAADDD!!!

The only difference this time is that I’m gonna give the festivities a go without the help of a can of K or RED STRIPE, or at least give it a damned good try. I think its time I actually started remembering my nights and also remembering to get the fit birds number I spoke to when sober.
The fun kicks off with a mid week fixture that is sure to blow your mind, HARDKNOCK is back with a BANGER this time it’s the top London Blogs goin’ Head to Head in an original styleee old skool soundclash…MY MONEYS on BNTL

And Friday night is the event that every self respecting motherfucker has been looking forward too. Abso-fucking-lutely guaranteed to be a banger…I know what your thinkin’

So make sure you get your assess down to these places in a timely fashion ‘cause anyone who tried to hit the last Work It, Livin’ Proof collabo will kno wat’a’gwan when I say ROADBLOCK!!!. Friday night will be a halloween party where you know the music is guaranteed to be banging with DJ's from both sets goin' back to back, dis is the kinda event where you don't wait for your mates. STR8 UP SHUN!!!

GIRLS + SOBER JoeyDaKid = “LUV IM ON A LIPSING TING…FULL VERSION NO PWOMOO”

Nuff Said!!!

JoeyDaKid

WinTeR IS herE!!...bUt I ReMiniSce.....

IT's COLD!!... da clocks have now gone backwards with the consequence of it getting darker much earlier. ;-(.. not fun at all now that summer has officially retired for another six months...

Well I had a fun filled, poontang infested summer... also went to CUBA which I must say was 'frickin awesome dude'...

Ok its time to reminisce.. this is a taster of what I got up to out there...

Cheesy poses infront of da hotel...

Tourism...

Beach parties....

Cigar smoking....

Cave diving....

.....And Poon.

Also made couple videos which re-ignited my acting career.. sum of ulot probably seen it b4 but who cares 'gimme a break' Im reminiscing...

Blauwatch cuba... Baywatch parody


Im On A Boat!!


Summer 09 + Sun, sea & sand + Alcohol adventure in london = I bloody hope Winter is as good!!

offthewALL

WorLds MoSt DistUrbin SExtoYS.....

A Female friend of mine just recently got her 1st dildo (rampant rabbit to be precise)... she also got one of them clit 'bullet' thingys..which is meant to be a girls best friend... anyways..shes loving it she says.. her quotes exactly was "all I need it to do now is take me out and buy me drinks..then we can execute all the men is this world". Hmmm a little over the top but hey.. she's having fun...
And as you do..I researched into that shit and found some crazy-ass mind-boggling products....as you can imagine even with my slightly socially unaccepted mind... I was thinking what da rass/boomber-ole is this??
Well take'a look boys an girls..

Sexy Sadistic Cock Ring

If you want to be pissing out of 20 different holes then i think this medevil tourture equipment is right up your alley...

Website quote: "Imagine the look on hes face when he wants to reach full arousal but realizes he cant.."

Fearsom Fingers

Ok I'm not entirely sure what da rass these things are, but from the name I'm guessing you put these bad boys on your fingers... looks abit brutal to me mate
Website quote: "Wear all five, or just one will get you the respect you deserve..."

Disposable Canned Vergina

Lol this has to be the funniest/fucked up of them all. The Japanese are a crazy bunch aren't they...

website quote: "complete with lubricant, this disposable pussy would leave you wanting more.."

Enema Piss Rubber Pants

Soon there would be no need for public toilets anymore... think... with this becoming a household product.

Website quote: "The Enema bag can hold 4litres.."

Stict Leather Dildo Face Harness

I hope its only lesbians that use this shit...coz that cud be quite hot...

Website quote: "This soft leather strap on makes it easy to strap a dildo to your face.."

The Drilldo

Ok very inventive name...its just a bloody dildo attached to a drill...

Website quote: "Yoga-like relaxing massage..."

The Cannon

Is this even possible..? or am I just being naive...?

Website quote: "The thickness and range of this plug, means you'l get a fulfilling stretch.."

Extreme Ass Spreader

Now this is just WRONG! looks like a cardiac surgeons tool..

Website quote: "Reactor opens up to 4inches wide"

Mastubator Vee-String

It's a bloody G-string with a minge on it!!.... If anyone is struggling with Halloween costumes this will defo win you 1st prize...

Website quote: "Thers are 9 different hair colours and 5 different hair styles to choose from..."

I hope you all have been as mentally scarred as I have been whilst looking at these new products....

offthewALL

WHERE WERE YOU?...on 24/10/09

Ain't got much to say, my mind has hit somewhat of a mental block recently...I am however, here to point you in the direction of where you a**holes should be saturday night coming

When myself, offthewALL, BBHollogramz and the lovely ladies embarked on the PECKNARRRRM Warehouse Party journey, I stumbled into a room which had a hole on the floor so I peeeed, I peeed like one had never peeeed before...while doing so i fixed my eyes upon this...

*check the flyer, this is definetly one for the collection

Now if your like me and you like your parties wild...I'm talking swingin off the chandelier wild, midgets doing back flips wild, then this is where all y'all mofos should be

DEADLY RHYTHM @ PLAN B

On a total unrelated note, also check out the Nu Brand Flexxx - Emergency, this video is sooo mint, all you halitosis sufferers shud feast on it n eradicate that rotten stench which eminates from your wretched orifice you call a mouth...y'all know who you are!!!



THIS CHOOOON IS HECTIC!!!

Inebriation Inna Di Nation!!!

Nuff Said!!!

JoeyDaKid

Female/PoontanG LoVE Abit Of Dat Evil Juice!!.....

Da last couple of weekends have been jammed packed full of alcohol fueld naughty behaviour for da Cocaine't4kidz ladz... especially this weekend where I got blaggered 4days outa 3... yes 4/3 days.. I extend my weekend to Monday night...
Da most recent being joeydakid getting ultra FUCKED at BB's little shindig.. My GawD.. it was an Orrible (with a capital O) site i tell ya.. He was literally throwing up he's internals... like he had drank a whole bottle of IPECAK! (click here if you r not sure what ipecak is).......He filled up dat bowel 5times with hes breakfast, lunch an dinner.

"don't judge meee!!"

joeys special puke-punch...

"somebody take me home!"

ANYWAYS....

I was on this site not to long ago which is dedicated to females getting Smashed! What more can you asked for other than 'drunken Pooon'....that would not remember how many times you groped her tits an assseseses.. (I am not that guy by da way..)

Eres a couple pics that stimulated da amusement Side of my brainage...

Now...she defo had a good night..

comming out of both ends..

pockadot thong!?!?!?

she's doing da splits brav! lol

What goes in must come out I suppose..

Head down thumbs up...?

I know that delighted you for da good 1.min an 33secs-ish

Me thinks..this weekend I might take it alittle easy on da booze.... before i ends up on that show 'booze britain'......or mybe not..

Jack Daniels + Southern comfort + 2 'K' Ciders + vodka + all in one cup = joey nearly waking up inna hospital for alcohol abuse...

offthewALL

"Let Me teLL You A StoRY AbouT..........."

The other day I was browsing youtube looking at some 'booty shake' vidz (Dnt Judge Me) on youtube...and as you kno.. by repeatedly clicking on 'related videos' you end up looking at something totally different half an hour later.
So I end up at H-old Skool Hiphop tracks...and got me thinking what happened to 'storytelling' rap tunes ay?Tunes with simple beats like ''boom cack....boom boom cack'' (that me beat boxin by da way...) and some1 telling a nusery ryhming story over it....SICK!!
Eres a couple example of what im on bout... make sure you watch em...

Slick Rick - Children's Story

Roxanne Shante' - Roxanne's Revenge


GrandMasterFlash - The Message



story telling + Mc'n + simple beats = CAMM OOORRRRN....bring it back now...!

offthewALL

TellY Overload IncreAses I.Q.....

So yesterday.... (after a messy Saturday night which consisted of alcohol intoxication and weed inhalation)... I managed to sit at home in front of da telly and do fuck all apart from getting up to go get some saveloy and chips from my local chippy which is h-actually owned by Chinese people...

So as I'm watching this fing called da 'telly'.... I started pondering how much bullshit is actually on ere..... then BAMMM!...it hit me...... I realised that this box makes up 70% of my general knowledge and 'chirpsin' conversations..... such as.... 'did you kno...?.'

If YOU pick what you watch carefully... You can learn some ridiculous life/street lessons from this shit

As most people who kno me know this is one of my favourite channels....

NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC CHANNEL

DID YOU KNO.... that if your squint at a male Gorrilla..it will see u as a mating partner and try to shag your brains out...

DID YOU KNO.... that some animals have accents... A 'moo' of a Cow depends on which reagion its from..... so I imagine a cow from brooklyn sounding like this.. 'MOOO.. MUVAFUCKER... MOOOO'

DID YOU KNO.... that bats can only turn left when exiting a cave! .....I guess they are not ambi-turners...

DID YOU KNO.... that some birds can stay in the air for up to five years!!!

DID YOU KNO.... that an elephant can smell water from up to 3miles away!!....what da fuck does water smell like..?

National geo channel + trying to chat up a female + random facts = she's thinking "shits this guy is a wierdo.. but I like it.. so im gonna fuck hes brains out"

offthewALL

"It's Shamz Le Le Le Le Le Le R..O...C"

Hol’ tite all ma people who know about the Shamz Le Roc movement, If you’ve heard any of her tunes then u’ll be aware that great things come in small packages, kinda like Prince or dat cheerleader bird from Heroes, not saying shes talented or nuffin but she’s a great lil’ package (ummm umm yeah, take dat, take dat!!!)…I digress…

She’s performed on regular popular circuits in NYC causing havoc and receiving great feedback on both her music and distinguished graphic designs on her tees.Her latest track DROP IT LOW has created a lil’ buzz n has been stuck in my mind for a hott minute…


listen to the track here...

and the remix Feat. USA New Talent, Ev4n Holt here...

DROP IT, DROP IT LOW!!!

Drop It Low + couple hott Mami Chulas + Bangin Sound System = BITCHIN PARTY!!!

JoeyDaKid

"Wash...My Panty-Hose??????"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! SPRING BREAK 2009 WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

I love the South Western American attitudes on Spring Break and the utterance of that very annual holiday period makes me think of this face.

Check the Photography by Pieter Hugo


This is just a little post to keep your creative motors running strong like The Aioi Works Japanese Wartsila-Sulzer RTA96-C turbocharged two-stroke diesel engine

MORE PHOTOS FOR YOU!

Its so creepy though riiight???…Just like switching to Nollywood Channel on SKY and anticipating the mounds of SHIT SCARY JU-JU awaiting to take place. This work is phenomenal and Nigeria as a back-drop gives this shoot major Brownie Points.

BB out PEAAAASSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! xoxo

B B H O L L L O G R A M Z

*MY NIGGA CHIN-SHU WILL SHOW YOU TO THE DOOR…

CocAine't DreAms...... Just Chill Out Music....

These two artist are really doing it for me right now (not in that way you dirty cunts). The keyoword that explains thier new videos is CHILL.....

My homeboy Mr Hudson just keeps coming out with original shit.. eres da new vid of hes tune 'instant Messenger' from da album 'Straight no Chaser'.... very cool tune... just makes you wanna 'fly away' or smoke sum marijuana and think about them bitches that managed slipped out of ya net (Grrrr)......

Anyway back to reality..check out this chill-som yet slightly blurred visual....


"I'm gonna blind our love.... wiv'a paparazzi flash"

Now this Abstract geezer is so fucking coooool. Da 'Renaissance' album was a banger, one of my favourates of last year.. loving Norah Jones vocals on this track 'Life Is Better'..... i'l definitely 'do her' .. very chilled tune that makes you wanna chill with da 'misses'... smoke herbs.. and make babies

Loving the simplicity of the whole video... very 'chill-som' indeed...

"life is....better...now that I found you"

Mr Hudson + Q-tip = (Chill-Out Choooons)...... What a fucking collabo it wud be if they joined forces an made a banger...

offthewALL

Where Is This Warehouse?? ......In Peckham...?

So its 11 o'hour on'a Friday night and I just finished work (fucked up hours I know).... I get a fone call from Joeydakid sayin... "Brav!! Where da fack are you!?!?!?" (in translation.."Friend.. what is your location because there is a warehouse party we should be attending")
Then  find out that its a stone throw away from where I lay my head! A warehouse just up Peckham high-street!!.. which is sweet coz Joey could ride Ignacio and i could literally triple jump there...

So we get inside now..link up with Kat, Sim and B.B...and it was pretty fucked up in there..... alot of indoor narcotics going around, people dancing off window ledges , 3-way lesbo snoggin sessions (a  jizzerble offence) and a couple midgets randomly doing cartwheels...... and all this in da backstreets of da 'NARm'.....sick!

Sick tunes, nice amount of poon.. cool venue

Eres a couple visuals to tickle braincells....

Sick dubstep vibes

I wonder why every1 was asking me for happy pills...

B.B Holograms in da houSE!!

Joey tries to impress some poontangs by showing them hes party trick

rolling up in da middle of da dancefloor... nice..

narcotics..

homeboy jonny da ozzy off hes nut...

if your u where there...u wud understand why this is one of da most fucked up pics ive eva taken..

nothing wrong wiv abit of indoor graff art...

two females going at it...fun times

bbq...

Jack tells me a story about when he opened da toilet door whiles Pablo was taking a shit..

.....and then food...

Warehouse + Peckham + good music and poon = "get your coat love!..uve pulled.."

offthewALL