NO HOMO!

On Saturday as I was preparing for a night out with the man-dem, I kinda got distracted and started channel surfing (as you do).  I only got like 25 channels init 'cos I don't have sky or nuttin, which sped up my route to a great film, titled... Rocky II... 

Now I love this film, but my story doesn't 'cos its bloody long, so fast forward say 30 minutes, and try visualise me physically going through Rocky's training with him (I mean... I get really into films init), its's INTENSE bruv, I've thrown at least 100 jabs into mid-air and danced around the room like Mohammed Ali. I'm tired now. I sit down. I relax. My mind drifts away from the film- 'cos I'm a daydreamer like that- and I'm back in 1991, sittin' down with my cousin Ms S. Marie. I'm channel surfing again (this time its 4 channels 'cos it's 1991, no one had sky or cable them times or maybe they did, but they weren't my friends), and I come across Rocky IV...

"I Live in AMERICA"- They bloody wish I did!
(-and as close to the truth as I can remember, I actually say- in my very high pitched & excited like WHOA! voice, I must add, "Uncle Neville, Uncle Neville, theres a fighting film on TV".  You know like when your young, any fighting film is a good film...  Anyways, he asked me what it was called I replied, "Rocky... I-V" (as in eye-vee, wayyy before I established what Roman numerals were), he bellowed back (in his deep Patois laden voice) "nah suh yu mean Rocky 4", I'm like "YEA... Warreva")

So I watch intently, supporting my newly found idol, Apollo Creed (I'm not racist, my mums best friend is white, but I think it's 'cos he was black...Hey c'mon gimme a break, I was 5, I knew no better) for all of 10 minutes, before witnessing him- in none other than Smokeys words- get "knocked the FUGGG out maaaan". My idol was dead and in less than 1 hr and 30 minutes my new idol was Rocky Balboa (I had no choice, if your wondering, there were no black guys left) and has been ever since.


My Boy Smokes!
Looking back though, and after watching Rocky I & II, I've come to realise that, Apollo Creed was a Cocky C*nt (my Aunty Patsy, once told me that was the most disgusting word ever created by man, and that I should never ever say it. So I reserve it for certain circumstances, such as... calling Apollo Creed a Cocky C*nt).  I supported the wrong guy for a whole 10 minutes of my life and although he loses in the end... I SALUTE you Mr IVAN "If he Dies... He Dies" DRAGO.

Look at dem guns blud!

Ivan Drago + Apollo Creed + Smokey = HaHaaaaaaaa!

JonBoy (LDN)